I have been married to my husband for almost a month and a half, and life is blissful. Now, I am fully aware that we are newlyweds and to feel infatuated with one another is natural and healthy... and most, if not all couples feel it for the first year or so of marriage. I am also aware that the expectation of the first year of marriage is that it's hard- riddled with arguments about the toilet seat or laundry being put in the wrong place. I have heard women complain about everything from eating habits to the toothpaste being an issue, and quite frankly when I hear someone tell me that the first month of marriage is challenging- I can't help but laugh now. I know that a month and a half isn't a long time, but I am saying... so far, I don't know why you ladies complain so early! My husband surely is not the most clean nor organized person in the world, and the fact that he slurps almost 80% of what he eats, no matter what it is, certainly is not pleasant.
Now, the point of this post is not to blather on about how happy I am with being married... but the point is to advise anyone who has said the words in this title about or to a newlywed couple to shut the <beep> up. Let me explain. When someone asks me the common question of "how's married life?"- I am starting to believe they may just want to hear me bitch and moan rather than exclaim with joy. The reason for this being that when I respond to this inquiry with "Wow- life is awesome, and marriage couldn't be more wonderful for us. I love cooking every meal for him, and seeing him every single night- we do everything together and I love him more now than the day we got married!" The response has been on several occasions..."Hm, well we'll see how long that lasts." This has come from family, friends and Christians, so their negativity absolutely baffles me and leaves me wondering- would you rather I respond with "egh, it sucks and we're so unhappy"? Do you wish we didn't get married? Do you hope we don't work out? That's the only thing I can come away with if you respond in this manner.
Again, let me state- I AM AWARE that the newlywed glow wears off. However, since I hold myself to my own personal standards of Stepford wife behavior- I will continue to live my daily life in sincere devotion to my husband, and my household. Marriage is a commitment, and I understand that it does not matter if I don't want to clean the dishes, and it does not matter if I merely don't want to have sex- it is necessary for the good of the relationship to uphold my own personal responsibilities in this marriage. I will get up with my husband every morning, and make him breakfast. I will make sure he is provided with food for his day at work, and I tell him every morning before he leaves that I love him and he's the most important thing in my life. Then I will make dinner for us, every night, and make sure he is relaxed with a drink of choice in hand. I will make love to my husband as often as possible and always hold close the understanding I have and teach- that a man's sexuality is closely tied to his relationship with his wife and the best way to make a man feel like a man is to physically rock his world. I certainly do not do these things for any reason except for the health and joy of my marriage. Therefore, I will continue without fail to live life in this way because it was a vow, and a promise, and it does not matter if I "feel like it".
The newlywed glow will not affect the amount of devotion I show to my husband, so I surely do not understand why these people think it will "wear off"? With divorce being such an overwhelming inevitability for 50% of marriages today, my advice to anyone who says they believe in a Christian marriage is: Stop the negativity, have faith in love, and instead of responding with this statement, be prepared to encourage and support, and possibly even learn a few lessons from said couple.
Simply put, if you are not prepared to share in the joy- do us a favor and do not inquire at all.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
The First Post: The Writer
I have never blogged before. I have never considered any of my experiences worthy of a blog to make them public. Quite frankly, I am considered by all who know me to be a very outspoken, blunt woman, who freely states what is on her mind. I am not particularly considerate if people are offended by me, and I consistently and brazenly stand for what I believe is correct, and right.
My life has been freely lived, with no regrets and nothing to hold me back. My experiences overwhelm me when I look back at them, and somehow at age 27, I feel ready to die. This is not to say that I WANT to die... on the contrary, I love life. This is only to say, that at a "young age", I have experienced all that I had on my "bucket list", if you will. I have been told, "Your life is like a movie!" and "You need to write a book" when people hear of the life I've lived. So why, with this notoriously exciting life, am I only starting a blog now?
On May 26th, 2012, I married my husband. A little over one month into marriage, I now realize how little I know, and how many more experiences are to come. So much about my relationship has changed everything in my life, and so much about me. The only things that have not changed are my sexuality, my passion, and my honesty.
For this reason, I stick out like a sore thumb in my community- that being, the traditional christian community. I am talking about the place where sex is a taboo subject, where people act much differently than they think, and the only thing that matters in life is getting married. I, on the other hand, will happily talk about sex with an open mind and welcome all thoughts and questions. You will NEVER not know how I feel about you, because I will tell you to your face. Not to mention, I certainly believe there are countless things that mean more than just being married. This obviously is not the case for the rest of this community, where it is encouraged for a girl especially to be married at any age, just as long as it's before they fall into sin with each other. Please forgive my personal frustrations with organized religion and the posers that surround me- and bear with me in future posts where this may be expressed further.
This blog is intended to reach women of all kinds, with a healthy dose of bluntness. I wish you to know, there is a woman here who wants to talk honestly about everything from being a woman, to a wife and eventually, a mother. It's rare that I see wives really talk about anything beside the niceties, and life is full of shit- so why are we not consoling each other through it? Instead it is pushed under the rug, and a smile is slapped on our face. No more. I am putting it out into the open. If you find offense with this, I hope to high heaven you don't read further posts.
In Conclusion: I have named this blog SurlyStepford because as a wife, I hold closely to the 50's standards of women. I believe my personal job is to tend to my man, and my household. I am an accomplished woman, with a full array of life experiences under my belt, a healthy social life, and a company that I founded two years ago and currently run. However, now that I am a wife, my first priority is my husband's happiness and the second is a clean house. As for sexuality, my body belongs to my husband and sex is never taboo. I will always grow in my sexual knowledge and the word "no" is not to be said to him.
On the flip side, I have not lost my Surly manner of thinking and speaking... therefore- SurlyStepford is meant to be a candid, open and honest expression of the joy and pain in marriage and womanhood. Do not expect Christian judgement, sugar-coating, or editing of any kind. I am here to speak my personal truth and experience, and hope very much someone will find comfort through it. That is all I ever wanted.
My life has been freely lived, with no regrets and nothing to hold me back. My experiences overwhelm me when I look back at them, and somehow at age 27, I feel ready to die. This is not to say that I WANT to die... on the contrary, I love life. This is only to say, that at a "young age", I have experienced all that I had on my "bucket list", if you will. I have been told, "Your life is like a movie!" and "You need to write a book" when people hear of the life I've lived. So why, with this notoriously exciting life, am I only starting a blog now?
On May 26th, 2012, I married my husband. A little over one month into marriage, I now realize how little I know, and how many more experiences are to come. So much about my relationship has changed everything in my life, and so much about me. The only things that have not changed are my sexuality, my passion, and my honesty.
For this reason, I stick out like a sore thumb in my community- that being, the traditional christian community. I am talking about the place where sex is a taboo subject, where people act much differently than they think, and the only thing that matters in life is getting married. I, on the other hand, will happily talk about sex with an open mind and welcome all thoughts and questions. You will NEVER not know how I feel about you, because I will tell you to your face. Not to mention, I certainly believe there are countless things that mean more than just being married. This obviously is not the case for the rest of this community, where it is encouraged for a girl especially to be married at any age, just as long as it's before they fall into sin with each other. Please forgive my personal frustrations with organized religion and the posers that surround me- and bear with me in future posts where this may be expressed further.
This blog is intended to reach women of all kinds, with a healthy dose of bluntness. I wish you to know, there is a woman here who wants to talk honestly about everything from being a woman, to a wife and eventually, a mother. It's rare that I see wives really talk about anything beside the niceties, and life is full of shit- so why are we not consoling each other through it? Instead it is pushed under the rug, and a smile is slapped on our face. No more. I am putting it out into the open. If you find offense with this, I hope to high heaven you don't read further posts.
In Conclusion: I have named this blog SurlyStepford because as a wife, I hold closely to the 50's standards of women. I believe my personal job is to tend to my man, and my household. I am an accomplished woman, with a full array of life experiences under my belt, a healthy social life, and a company that I founded two years ago and currently run. However, now that I am a wife, my first priority is my husband's happiness and the second is a clean house. As for sexuality, my body belongs to my husband and sex is never taboo. I will always grow in my sexual knowledge and the word "no" is not to be said to him.
On the flip side, I have not lost my Surly manner of thinking and speaking... therefore- SurlyStepford is meant to be a candid, open and honest expression of the joy and pain in marriage and womanhood. Do not expect Christian judgement, sugar-coating, or editing of any kind. I am here to speak my personal truth and experience, and hope very much someone will find comfort through it. That is all I ever wanted.
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