I ponder "identity" fairly often. I think about my own identity, what it means to me, and what it may mean to other people in my life. What is it that distinguishes me, and who am I at my core? As for myself, and anyone who knows me well knows this is true... I am who I am, and I will not change to please anyone or put forward a facade. My identity is truth, and reality, and the understanding that no amount of dishonesty about who someone is will make them anything but what they really are.
What does this mean to someone of faith? I hear all the time, "my identity is in Christ", but I think that's a cop out. Even Christ had an identity, and it was different than His Father's. I have always been intrigued by the world of "religion" or even "society" and the amount of people who put on a shiny smile and act like everything is perfect in their lives. No matter who you are, and no matter what is going on in your life- you know struggle and pain is real, but somehow some people can never manage to open their mouths and tell the truth when someone asks, "how are you?"
So, how are you? No, really... how are YOU? Are you really doing okay when you are struggling with being a single parent or a parent of 2+ kids? Are you really doing okay when you're losing or have lost a loved one? Are you really doing okay when you and your spouse are struggling with your marriage or haven't had success in intimacy? Are you really doing okay when you're just an average person with average life issues? I try everyday to hold to my own identity and have genuine concern and understanding for those who would answer "no" to those questions. I am no better than those people and when life is good for me, I know it's only a matter of time before hard times come again, and when that happens- I'll be honest about it with those who ask.
The same goes for WHO you are. Are you free to live an honest life in your community, or are you just living the life that is expected of you? God gave each of us a specific and very individual personality and identity... so why do you all act the same? The hard truth is that not everyone will like who you are, but isn't that wonderful?! If you are true to yourself, and free to express that openly, you will surely find that the people who do not truly accept you will just fade away. The beautiful thing is that when you can achieve true love for who you are, and can live that freely, those left in your life will be people who will completely love, support and value you for everything that you are.
I was blessed enough to find a partner in life who does know exactly who I am and loves me, flaws and all, but I also have a number non-marital soul mates who help me to keep my belief that people can love each other without judgement or harsh expectation. The truly frightening thought is that after 10+ years in the Church and involvement with the Christian community, I have walked away with an unbiased understanding of the facade that is put forth everyday by so many of those who are an integral part of the church. The discouragement of being who you really are, if it does not fit the mold for the "good Christian person" is simply wrong and the opposite of who Christ is. True peace, which all Christians say they have, is found in living an honest life that is expressive of who God created you to be- not just playing the part of the perfect Christian husband, wife, son, daughter, pastor, teacher, or believer! So I want to encourage you, reader, to live YOUR life, and to act like the incredible, unique and wondrous individual that God created you to be. Be prepared to leave those behind who will not accept you for being different, and likewise, prepare just the same for the tremendous blessings that you will find when you love who you are, and expose the world to your true identity. To be or not to be (who you really are)... I think the answer is clear..
